What we love about Strengths work is that it is a universal tool. It is most widely used in professional development settings but also is highly effective as a communication tool with couples. What if we understood the filters our partner sees out of? What if the things your partner does that you just don’t get were actually their Strengths at work? At reCreate, we like to say that Strengths can also be a tool of grace. What was once seen as kooky or annoying, can actually be appreciate as the unique talents and Strengths that make your loved one special.
Take David and Gloria for example. They have a hard time making decisions together and often argue because they never seem to be on the same page. This can be with small things such as what type of furniture to buy to big things like what kind of school to put their kids in. David’s Strengths include: Strategic, Learner and Deliberative. Gloria’s Strengths include: Positivity, Activator and Restorative.
Being Deliberative, David does not make decisions quickly. He is methodical, cautious and a mulls over every scenario until he has anticipated every obstacle. Being Learner and Strategic, he learns about all different possibilities and maps out every possible best route. As you can see, decisions are not simple for David.
As an Activator, Gloria learns as she goes. She likes to dive into anything that seems reasonable and doesn’t have to give it much thought. With her Positivity, she believes things will work out and her Restorative motivates her to want to solve problems. She loves to take risks and is not afraid to make mistakes.
As you can see, David and Gloria are coming from 2 opposite sides of the scale. After understanding their Strengths, they both are able to see that David’s caution is because he wants to be sure that he has weighed every option while Gloria is not reckless in her decision making, she feels like trying things out is the best way to grow and learn. They both have learned to appreciate each other’s style in decision making and have made adjustments in their communication in this area. Gloria now gives David a lot more time to think things over instead of springing things on him while David takes less time to come to decisions and gives Gloria more trust.
If you are at a crossroads in a relationship issue, ask yourself what Strengths you may be misunderstanding from your partner and find ways to compromise. Appreciating each other’s Strengths for the valuable gifts they are is the first step in coming together on an issue.
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Strengths-based Development (SBD) is our passion, commitment and life. Team reCreate is devoted to work that creates transformation, meaning and purpose in the lives of those we serve. This space is meant for you to get to know us, learn more about Strengths and hear from others in this line of work. Thanks for being on this journey with us!